5 Things that Were Hard for Me to Give Up
by Cy
The process of healing is a slow and steady one in which some changes are easier to make and others, more difficult. A large part of transformation depends on the consciousness, culture and constitution of the individual. There are aspects of my knowledge base, personality and life that have helped me on my journey while others have made the road more challenging. This has culminated in a one-of-a-kind path, one I appreciate for the lessons it has taught me and the higher ground it has allowed me to attain.
Here are five habits, affinities and compulsions that have challenged me immensely. After discussing each obstacle, I will touch briefly on how I overcame it. I share these, first, to convey the reality that achieving greater health is hard work, but work that anyone can accomplish. It is also a reminder that we are limitless. Several of the items on this list are things that were completely integrated into my life, some that I would have never dreamed of giving up. But a shift in consciousness allowed me to let go of what was unnecessary and never look back.
Often we don’t know our potential until we begin to make headway. Thoughts, habits and energies become entrenched in our physical and mental bodies. Only when we begin to release some of this stagnation is the truth revealed about what we really need in our lives. New channels, frequencies and portals manifest within, allowing us to function at different levels than those which existed previously. What I would offer is keep an open mind and believe in the possibility of change. Affirm the reality that you will achieve your best self and that you possess everything you need to do so!
Sugar/Sweets (1): Growing up, I had an insatiable sweet tooth. I loved all things saccharine. My favorites were anything sweet and sour along with caramel and chocolate. I’m fortunate to have been raised in a home where my sweets intake was limited. At the same time, I was challenged growing up in an era whose mainstream wasn’t especially health-oriented. In the 1980’s, it seemed that the more artificial and brightly colored the food, the more popular it was. Processed sugars are addictive by design. They leave the body hungry, thirsty, depleted and craving more (2). If sugar is used to try to fill the craving, the cycle repeats itself. When I became aware of the harms of refined sugars, I quickly realized that moderation wouldn’t work for me. Due to refined sugar’s drug-like qualities, moderation always carries the risk of perpetuating addiction. So I quit all processed sugars entirely. Since some of the sneakiest refined sugars hide in packaged foods, I became diligent about reading labels to avoid accidental ingestion. Abstaining from any and all processed sugars and welcoming fresh organic fruit and vegetables into my life are what helped me to overcome refined sweets for good. Fruits and vegetables are incredibly satisfying in taste and provide everything humans need. The satisfy the palate as well as the body, mind and spirit.
Rice and Beans/Sancocho/Dominican Cuisine (3): When you grow up eating something everyday, the senses become accustomed to those tastes, textures and aromas. These foods become a part of the everyday rhythm as well as a source of comfort. Dominican food is my comfort food - rice, beans, plantains, sancocho, yucca, batata and more (4). While it wasn’t a big challenge for me to get over the meat-rich aspects of Dominican cuisine, rice and red beans were the most difficult. Dominican seasonings, captured in the way kidney beans are stewed or cooked into moro are what taste and smell like home to me. The difficulty is, even though I haven’t eaten any of these foods in years, no matter what I do, I haven’t been able to change this concept of home/comfort food. I’m not even sure if that’s a goal. I’m working on ways of incorporating some of the wondrous herbs and flavors used in Dominican cuisine into raw vegan preparations. Another thing that helps is focusing not only on the cooked aspects of Dominican food culture but on the perfect fruits that inhabit the subtropical and multifaceted landscape of the mountainous island (5). Mango, lechoza and limoncillo are just as much a part of Dominican food culture as mangú, pollo guisado and yaniqueques. Even though it is difficult to impossible to locate tree-ripened sub/tropical fruit in the north, I can occasionally find an acceptable mango, a semi-sweet pineapple or a tasty banana.
Caffeine: All things caffeinated have been the biggest food and drug addiction for me, so much so, that I am dedicating an entire future post to this topic. In brief, eliminating caffeine has been an arduous task with many stumbling blocks, most having to do with the cultural pervasiveness coffee and tea as “normal” parts of life. Abstaining from coffee, caffeinated teas and using cacao in moderation have been the methods I’ve used to improve in this area. Using myself as a test subject, I realized that energy is not gained from caffeine. We are capable of achieving a balanced and natural high better than any caffeinated substance could ever provide (6). The detoxification process has also helped as caffeinated items must be strictly abstained from during any cleansing regimen.
Packaged/Gourmet Raw Foods: Early in my raw food journey, I lived in an apartment with the tiniest kitchen imaginable, lacking equipment except for a few knives, a cutting board and a juicer. I was new to raw foods and I spent a lot of time discovering what was out there. This opened up a world of packaged raw products (i.e. dried fruits, nut cheeses, trail mixes, etc.), gourmet raw vegan treats and meals at raw vegan restaurants. I don’t intend to complain about the availability of these items as packaged and gourmet raw vegan foods were helpful in my transition. There are good options that make useful additions to any pantry. However, many packaged raw products are heavily nut and/or oil based and attempt to replicate cooked food. I don’t mind the the idea of trying to capture the essence of cooked food. This can result in a healthier alternative and an effective transitional meal. But fat-heavy raw foods are imbalanced and don’t allow the body to detoxify in the way a fruit-focused and vegetable-inclusive raw lifestyle will. Still, another challenge is the cost-prohibitiveness of packaged raw foods. Many raw products are unsustainably expensive for those living on a budget. Additionally, I witnessed the closure of numerous raw restaurants and businesses I had patronized. Sometimes devastating, these closures ultimately freed me to become self-reliant and more skilled at raw food preparation. I enjoy time in the kitchen experimenting with cuisine on the gourmet end of the spectrum of living foods. I am grateful for the gourmet/store bought-phase in my raw pathway. I ate some truly spectacular meals and learned a tremendous amount about the things I could do with living foods. Detoxification ultimately helped me let go of packaged/gourmet raw cuisine for good, save the occasional treat. The art of detoxification resolved my cravings and shifted my mindset towards greater simplicity and lightness in eating. I am content today with fruit, salads, smoothies and juices, which make up the bulk of my diet along with the capability to make just about any raw dish I wish!
Toxic Relationships: I’ve never had a problem ridding myself of overtly abusive energies. It was the subtleties of toxicity, the harmful dynamics that operated as normal parts of everyday life that were problematic for me. Detoxification on a physical level is always accompanied by emotional release. One thing that came up for was understanding what kinds of energies were welcome in my life versus where I needed to draw boundaries. Relationships are complicated. It’s not always as simple as allowing someone in or cutting someone off entirely. Much of it is working within a relationship, and more importantly, within oneself, to understand how to come together with another person in a way that is healthy and mutually beneficial. Delving deeper, I realized, whether conscious or unconscious, there were some toxic dynamics at work in a few of my friendships. It wasn’t a matter of a single incident or an off day. Patterns of systematic albeit subtle abuse, jealousy and disregard were revealed. Some of these were things I had overlooked for years, often because of the longevity of the relationship. I would tell myself, this person has always been my friend so it must be okay. Let me give them the benefit of the doubt. But I came to a point where I was able to see the harmful patterns taking place and create appropriate boundaries. Shifting dynamics in long-standing friendships can be very uncomfortable. The roots of these relationships run deep and intertwine into many areas of life that can be hard to untangle from. Pushing through the discomfort freed me from from some of the harmful dynamics I was normalizing. In some cases, it bettered certain friendships as well as my friendship with myself.
This isn’t meant to be exhaustive, but a shortlist of things that were challenging for me to release. Detoxification continues to have a major role in my ability to push past former selves and open myself towards betterment from within. I haven’t worked through everything I need to as the healing process is never complete. The road ahead promises to bring new wonders and challenges. But there is a point of consciousness at which we get past thinking about patterns that are unmistakeably unhealthy as deprivation to thinking about changes as adding to our lives in positive ways. Hilde Larson states that “Detoxification...is about letting everything that is not serving us be processed and leave” (7). By letting go, we invite the infinite possibilities that inhabit us to manifest.
Notes and References
(1) Processed cane, beet sugars, high fructose corn syrup and other processed sweeteners whose original nature has been stripped.
(2) Avena, Nicole, Rada, Pedro, Hoebel, Bartley. “Evidence for Sugar Addiction: Behavioral and Neurochemical Effects of Intermittent, Excessive Sugar Intake,” Neurosci Biobehav Rev. 2008; 32(1): 20-39. doi: 10.1016/j.neubiorev.2007.04.019
(3) A stew made of vegetables, root vegetables and meat.
(4) For a more detailed discussion on Dominican food culture, visit https://blog.amigofoods.com/index.php/dominican-foods-drinks/dominican-food-dishes/
(5) The Dominican Republic boasts the greatest regional altitude. It’s highest point, Pico Duarte, is 3,098 meters tall. Two principal mountain ranges and other unique geographic features contribute to it being the most biodiverse island in the Caribbean.
(6) “Caffeine,” Alcohol and Drug Foundation. https://ads.org.au/drug-facts/caffeine Dec. 16, 2020
(7) Larsen, Hilde. “No Detoxification, No True Health. Let The Truth Speak,” https://inspiredbyhilde.com/no-detoxification-no-true-health-let-truth-speak/